The Wringer

Author: MARK TWAIN

The Art Of Inhumation

About the same time, I encountered a man in the street, whom I had not seen for six or seven years; and something like this talk followed. I said,— “But you used to look sad and oldish; you don’t now. Where did you got all this youth and bubbling cheerfulness? Give me the address.” He [...]

Two Ways of Seeing a River

Now when I had mastered the language of this water and had come to know every trifling feature that bordered the great river as familiarly as I knew the letters of the alphabet, I had made a valuable acquisition. But I had lost something, too. I had lost something which could never be restored to [...]

Advice To Youth

Being told I would be expected to talk here, I inquired what sort of talk I ought to make. They said it should be something suitable to youth–something didactic, instructive, or something in the nature of good advice. Very well. I have a few things in my mind which I have often longed to say [...]

On The Decay Of The Art Of Lying

Observe, I do not mean to suggest that the custom of lying has suffered any decay or interruption,–no, for the Lie, as a Virtue, a Principle, is eternal; the Lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man’s best and surest friend, is immortal, and [...]

The Danger Of Lying In Bed

The man in the ticket-office said: “Have an accident insurance ticket, also?” “No,” I said, after studying the matter over a little. “No, I believe not; I am going to be traveling by rail all day today. However, tomorrow I don’t travel. Give me one for tomorrow.” The man looked puzzled. He said: “But it [...]